Give up your small ambitions

The temptations and questions came like a flood this week. Suddenly I found myself asking if I really wanted to give up being a specialist, give up having my own patients, give up the chance of operating ...

Perhaps I should just take the exams ... postpone the studies a little bit.

Then I went for my "History of Missions" class. In my post-call stupor, with mints in my mouth to keep awake through the "droning" of the lecturer, I was suddenly prodded awake by a statement that he made out of the blue (out of the blue cos I wasn't paying attention to his preceding statements).

"Give up your small ambitions"

This statement was spoken by St. Francis Xavier (a Jesuit missionary) in the 17th century - sent to the university students back home in Europe. "Tell them to give up their small ambitions, and come East to preach the gospel."

Give up my small ambitions ... Lord, help me to see the big picture.