An amateur preacher's diary ...

A few lessons learnt from preaching at 2 youth camps.

I had to learn to seek the face of Father. Since I was going to be His mouthpiece, I had better catch His heartbeat. And what better way to do so than to spend time with Him. Prayer and fasting I learnt was essential. And to be quiet before Him - to listen.

I had to learn to lay my own agendas aside. And yet at the same time, I realised that the Lord will also give freedom to develop what He has placed in my heart. It's a partnership, I learnt.

I also learnt Father's love. And because of Father's love, He will touch His children. Not because of my eloquence or lack of it, not because of the strength of my persuasion or lack of it - but only because He loves. I had to learn to trust Him. And that gave me freedom. Freedom knowing that I no longer had to deal with the stress to "perform" - I just needed to flow with His Spirit. I just needed to listen and obey.

I also learnt to hide back under the shadow of His wings. I had to retreat to Father in humility after each session - knowing and acknowledging that it was Him, not me. It had to be all about His Son, not this son; His glory, not mine. How fiercely jealous He was of His own glory. I had to learnt to fiercely guard His Glory - that it remains wholly His.

Lessons learnt. I pray they will not be easily and quickly forgotten.

The difference between orange and blue ...

Went out with my prof for lunch today. And since we only had 1/2 hour for lunch, he asked me to tear the coupons while he parked.

I had 3 blue coupons in my hand ... (the only 3 left in the car)

I tore 2 ...

I thought each blue coupon was for 15 minutes ... (and each orange was for 30 minutes) ...

Apparently there are no such coupons for 15 minute-slots ...

I think my prof was too flabbergasted to be upset with me ...
"Eh ... you never tear coupons before ah ? Or you trying to use up all my coupons ?" He muttered as we got out of the car ...

I wasn't sure if the smile on his face was amusement or not ...

I was most enlightened today though.

Overdue - not the baby but the entry ...

So I did my first delivery in the mission field ... Just when I was wondering what I was there for in November ...

The village midwife was pregnant and in labour ... she had come down the mountain to Pastor Danny's house when she found out we were there. But since the contractions were weak and irregular, I told her it was not time yet ... "perhaps tomorrow ... or in a few days ..."

The truth of the matter struck me when we reached the village at Bayan Bayanan the next day for Sunday service ... I was promptly ushered into her hut where I found her huffing and puffing away ...

"Ok .." This was it ... Wait a minute ... no gloves ... no CTG machine (cardiotocograph machine to look at baby's heart rate and contractions)... no sutures ... (ARRRGH !!!!)

Back to basics ... I timed the contractions with my hands on the tummy. Used the stethoscope in a "vain" (both puns are accurate in this situation!) attempt to listen to baby's heartbeat ... and SCREAM ... examined the poor lady with my bare hands ... (contrary to everything I learnt about aseptic technique and universal precautions...)

Anyway I messaged back to Singapore (church and doctor friends alike) - I had to find a spot with a one bar reception ... - please pray no bleeding and everything goes well for mother and baby ...

I had no way of stopping any major bleed if there was... no sutures to stitch up any major tears ... Back to basics ... Back to relying solely on the Lord.

It was also hilarious that the Aeta women were helping me ... The mother and Kits (Pastor Danny's wife) were the only ones who understood English ... So you can imagine here I was shouting "Push ! Push !" in a timed fashion and the Aeta women were looking for the "push" - they thought push was something I was asking them to get.

Anyway ... all glory to God - no major bleeding, no tears ... Everything went so smoothly it was over in about 2 1/2 hours !

Oh yes ... I forgot to mention ... they found ONE glove for me in the end ...

Deja vu

The last time I complained about going to a wedding dinner on this blog was in July 2004 ... How time flies ! But it's the same deja vu feeling I'm getting - a mild depression - of having to go through the hassle of dressing up for the event (well ... not much of dressing up since my repertoire of wedding clothes hasn't changed much in 1 1/2 years), the tremendous boredom of sitting through a long tiresome 8 - 10 course dinner with people I may not know or do not now know, the insides-wrenching experience of seeing female friends with fake faces (take it whichever way you want - the make-up or the cover-up), the thumb-twiddling time-ticking minutes and hours spent hearing colleagues (mostly former now) talk about cash, car, career and child.

Maybe I'm just a grumpy 32-year-old who happens to have just woken up from the wrong side of bed after a much needed afternoon nap.

Now where's that grey Thomas Smith shirt I wore in 2004 ?

Comfortable Mediocrity Vs. Mediocre Comfort

What happens when we are comfortable with our spiritual mediocrity ? I guess it won't bother us anymore.

What happens when we are satisfied with mediocre comfort ? I guess it won't bother us anymore either.

What happens when we become dissatisfied with mediocre comfort ? I guess we start striving for more material wants.

What happens when we become dissatisfied with comfortable mediocrity ? Spiritual mediocrity ?

Ah ... breakthrough comes.