Yipes ...

Extroverted (E) 58.82% Introverted (I) 41.18% Realistic (S) 50% Imaginative (N) 50% Intellectual (T) 53.66% Emotional (F) 46.34% Easygoing (P) 54.84% Organized (J) 45.16% Your type is: ENTP > You are an Inventor, possible professions include - systems designer, venture capitalist, actor, journalist, investment broker, real estate agent, real estate developer, strategic planner, political manager, politician, special projects developer, literary agent, restaurant/bar owner, technical trainer, diversity manager, art director, personnel systems developer, computer analyst, logistics consultant, outplacement consultant, advertising creative director, radio/TV talk show host.

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Oh dear, cannot find my current profession here.

Sanguine ?

Eysenck's Test Results

Extraversion (71%) high which suggests you are very talkative, optimistic, and sociable but possibly not very reflective. Neuroticism (37%) moderately low which suggests you are relaxed, calm, secure, unemotional but possibly too unobservant of your feelings. Psychoticism (61%) moderately high which suggests you tend to be offensive, uncooperative, and rebellious.

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Wah ... so scary

Conscious self	Overall self

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Scale (%) results:

Enneagram Test Results Type 1 Perfectionism 43% Type 2 Helpfulness 73% Type 3 Image Awareness 70% Type 4 Sensitivity 36% Type 5 Detachment 50% Type 6 Anxiety 50% Type 7 Adventurousness 73% Type 8 Aggressiveness 76% Type 9 Calmness 63% Your Conscious-Surface type is 8w7 Your Unconscious-Overall type is 9w8

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Knowing myself ?

ENTP - "Inventor". Enthusiastic interest in everything and always sensitive to possibilities. Non-conformist and innovative. 3.2% of the total population.

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So ... who is it for ?

I started doing my curriculum vitae at the behest of the department secretary. She said it would be good to start early, in case I need to apply for a job at the hospital in future (yes, doctors still need to apply for jobs - it's not an iron rice bowl like most people think). And I must say I was rather impressed at my achievements so far. (smile)

Reality check.

Didn't I just read about Dr John Sung who readily threw away his earned papers and degrees into the sea, after he heard the call of God ? Didn't I also read about a Pharisee scholar in the 1st century AD (remember Saul of Tarsus, later known as the apostle Paul) who said he considered his achievements as "dung" when compared to the saving knowledge of God's salvation ? Then why am I spending so much time massaging my CV to make it more appealing and impressive ? Who am I trying to impress ? For whom am I doing all this ?

Such a humbling thought.

My worth doesn't depend on my achievements, does it ? Where does my confidence lie ? In whom do I place my trust ?

Who's the boss ? 

She loves me, she loves me not ...

Cell group last night was interesting. Towards the end, we were sort of split into the "older sibling" and "younger sibling" gang, each complaining that our parents loved the other sibling more.

It's almost as if love were a finite object that can and needs to be cut up into definite measurable portions. Does this mean someone can only love me so much, beyond which he or she will run out of love, either for me, or for someone else ? Or is love an infinite fountain that expresses itself in a myriad of ways to different people, and itself being experienced differently despite being expressed the same way ? (am i making sense tonight ?)

We define love in our own confined myopic realities. Because of that, we expect the expression of love to fit into our ability, or inability to experience it. Should we be telling others how and when to love us - as if we were the expert in dishing it out ? Or should we humbly and thankfully accept its creativity ?

Teach me to love, as I learn to accept love.

It's a sign !

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First an elvish princess ... then Mother Teresa .. now the GodFather ...
I am one happy family.
I need a retreat.

Peter Pan vs Mother Teresa vs Arwen

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Yipes !  Why am I always a woman ? Well ... better a short wrinkled saint then ...

 

Stillness

It's my research day today - which means, really do research or bum around. Like now. I've got tons of research to do - so many abstracts, posters and papers to write, it overwhelms me. I don't know where to start. Plus I've got to give a talk on human reproduction tomorrow to some nurses ... and I'm not even married ... but that's not the point - I've got powerpoint slides and pictures.

 

It's funny. I had just written about finding our rest and unclogging our lives when I get a page from the department secretary reminding me to "fasterly" hand up my presentation for tomorrow. I guess this is an opportunity to live what you preach. Perhaps I should preach less and keep quiet more. But then, I will never learn, will I ?

 

The trick is not running away from the stress. It's finding calm amidst the chaos. I pray I can sleep through the storm like Jesus did in the boat and wait patiently for Him to say to the tempest "Be still !" In the meantime, He whispers to me "Be still."

 

Arwen ?!?!?!

Arwen If I were a character in The Lord of the Rings, I would be Arwen, Elf, the daughter of Elrond. In the movie, I am played by Liv Tyler. Who would you be? Zovakware Lord of the Rings Test with Perseus Web Survey Software

Gee ... I sure look pretty with make-up and a dress.

Oh well ... better a she-elf than a short ugly hobbit... sorry Ronny. HAHAHAHAH !

 

 

Grey it was ...

I chose the grey G2000 shirt. I tried both on to see if there was a difference. There was - the Thomas Smith one is getting old.

 

I left early from the dinner. The company at my table 25 was worse than boring, so I decided to alternate between tables 23 and 27, where the rest of my "kakis" were, returning only to my table for food and drink. Perhaps it's age, or the red wine (I only had one glass, by the way), but I found the superficial social interaction extremely tiresome and wearisome. I longed to sit down alone with some of my former colleagues to have a chat over coffee, but the social requirements of the night made that impossible. Perhaps another day, another time, another place.     

 

Maybe I'm just getting old, like my grey shirt...

   

Wedding dinner tonight

I've got another wedding dinner tonight. Not feeling particularly excited about it since I'll be seeing my colleagues there again, albeit in evening gowns and unrecognisable hair-dos. Which reminds me - I have to choose what to wear. It's either the grey Thomas Smith shirt (which I wear to almost all weddings - now you know why I don't go to most weddings ?) or the grey G2000 shirt (which I wear when I lead worship - that's not the reason why I don't lead worship so often nowadays...). I don't suppose it matters. No one will be able to tell the difference. Besides, I'll be wearing my usual brown pastel tie. (It's not
mine actually. I found it lying around one day.)

I'm entering this phase of life where my friends and gasp! (even my brother) are tying the knot at astonishing speeds. I understand it's to avoid the magic number 35 (at least for the females - Down Syndrome risk increases after this age). I just heard one of my friends (my age) is expecting his third kid... THIRD KID ! Imagine the pressure, sleepless nights, crying babies ! Pardon me, but I'm just not strong enough for this. My kudos to him and those like him !

I imagine those near their golden age where their friends and gasp ! (even family) are dropping like flies ... I guess they are faced with the cruel reality of their own impending mortality. Something we younger creatures conveniently forget - until someone close to us and our age passes on.(yes, yes, I do know some euphemistic words...)

I hope I age gracefully or is it graciously. Whatever.  I don't care. I don't want to be a Peter Pan. Rather, I much prefer to be like Mother Theresa (save the osteoporosis and nun suit) - faced with external mortality and her own, she persevered on in her service to humanity and to God. She was called the "Living Saint". I suppose that's definitely better than a dead one ...

How on earth did I get to this morbid subject of death from a happy wedding ?

Oh yes .. the cycle and phases of life.

Hahaha .. I just realised ... WOMB to TOMB. 

Blogeurism

Another reason why I find this so appealing ... It satisfies my voyeuristic inclinations, allowing me to peer into another's thoughts and inner feelings - I am assuming they mean what they write... almost akin to a pay-per-view service (in this case, it's absolutely free)

ok, enough cynicism and skepticism for the next 100 years.

It's great to be able to read what my friends and brother are doing/thinking throughout the day. Kinda connects and intertwines my life with theirs ...
It's funny, though, that we have to rely on the electronic medium to do so. Whatever happened to the "Knights of the round table" (read "Nights at the coffee table"). So which is more personal ? 

A Blog to Log ?

I still haven't figured out what BLOG stands for. I suppose I never will if I don't read the actual website. I guess I don't really care.

People like to be heard. We all like to express our views. The problem is, we are afraid no one wants to hear them. After all, rejection can be rather frightening ... That's the reason I think this BLOG thing is so popular and appealing. Everyone can say what he/she wants without fear of being shut off. I mean, no one can tell you to shut up while you are typing your views, can they ? And you can always choose not to read the comments that may come with your posting.

That being said, this BLOG thing is quite fun... 

So what exactly does BLOG stand for ?

hmmm ... can't believe I'm actually indulging in this frivolous activity. Haven't written a journal in years, and since Friendster is out of fashion (so I hear and the fact that I've gotten only one testimonial since it started - and I'm sure I've got more friends than I imagine ... ), I thought I would join in the band-wagon.

It will definitely take a while (perhaps a long while...perhaps never) for verbosity to take hold of me again. I've been so used to writing illegibly and in short forms at work that I think short form now. Writing in prose has become a pain.

So ... since I'm too lazy and nonchalant to read up on this website, perhaps somebody can take the shortcut for me and tell me what BLOG stands for, and what this website is all about, other than the fact that it's a good vantage point from which to cry for help. and while the kind soul is at it, I would LOVE to explain what Womb2Tomb stands for ....